Confession
It came up last night at dinner. A lovely friend came by, we ate dinner, drank Aperol cocktails, and finished with pumpkin ice cream. She’s been gone for a few months and it was great to catch up.
She’s going to visit her special someone the weekend before that random Tuesday in February. So we discussed Valentine’s day (and gay marriage and abortion and religion!).
I like the ones that are just a tiny bit more subtle than "bee mine"
She seemed like she was starting to apologize, “but Valentine’s Day is arbitrary” or something deep and intellectual, when I blurted:
“I love Valentine’s Day.” She laughed, wasn’t sure if I was joking, perhaps hoping I was. But the secret was out, so I continued. “I love red, pink and white. I love hearts. I love heart-shaped everything. The candy is the best. Seeing an aisle of red in grocery stores makes me happy.”
She laughed. “It’s so comforting to be around someone who isn’t ashamed to like this day.”
It definitely sucks that guys are forced to buy some stupid thing and that there’s some bar that inevitably will leave some guys sleeping on the couch because he didn’t get the not-so-subtle hints in the days/weeks leading up to the day, and some girl ends up sulking when, hey, honestly, this is the one night a year (a year!) that is supposed to be a simple equation of buy flowers/get laid.
get it? GET IT?
Interesting side note: my birthday is precisely nine months after Valentine’s Day, give or take a few days. And you know what? I’ll never (EVER) ask, but I bet it’s not coincidence. It’s fun to remind other November birthdays of that fact, too, just to see them squirm. {Dad, thank goodness, hasn’t figured out how to leave a comment yet.}
ANYWAY, I just love it. Growing up, Mom always made sure that us girls got presents on Valentine’s Day. As a kid, it was exciting! and fun! and chocolate before school! but by the time I turned 13, I realized how special it was. Let’s just say I was a late bloomer, so throughout the “painful years” my mom was my only Valentine. To this day, she goes out of her way to let us know that she loves us. One year, we were informed that we’d gotten a cookie basket. Sure, we had to drive 10 miles to go get it, but it was an adventure that netted us both some heart-shaped cookies that said “I love you” on them. The next year, Mom bought us matching panini presses (or was that Easter?).
So that’s my confession. Valentine’s day is one of my most favorite holidays. Especially now that I’m a grown up and I work in a small office mostly filled with dudes, which means that there aren’t competing giant! bouquets! of flowers!
corny, from 1920
Let’s go back to elementary school, when the idea was egalitarian: show everyone in class how much you love them. Pick out the valentines that said something a little more special for that crush sitting across the room. Agonize over this decision. Realize that there are three or four of the special valentines, and no, that creep with the boogers doesn’t have one yet either, and panic. Somehow, in your ten-year-old head, understand that your crush won’t understand the significance, but the booger boy will. Stay oblivious to this life lesson for another decade or two.
And let’s just say that this is the day to love more. Thanksgiving episode two. There’s a lot of love in this world. Let’s be a part of it!
As for my friend and me, we agreed that it was a fun excuse to wear pink, or red, or white, unapologetically.
For those of you interested, I like the heart-shaped Sprees and the red and white Nerds best of all. Oh, and salted caramels. O’Malley’s Handmade Confections can’t be beat!
Related articles
- Funny Valentine’s Day Quotes and Sayings (livelaugh2love.wordpress.com)
- Less than one month until Valentine’s Day…let the planning begin! (ctworkingmoms.com)
- Altered Valentine Candy Box with Mod Podge and Chipboard Letters (cathiefilian.blogspot.com)
Giving
I’ve been really focused lately. Focused on work, on family, on friends, on writing. Focused like a laser, trying to dig my way out of debt. Focused on Christmas, too
. On filling my days with happiness.
On giving. I made holiday gifts (though I haven’t mailed them to those I haven’t seen in person) and I’ve given those out.
And now, somehow, unexpectedly, I find myself thinking over the spirit of Christmas. What is Christmas? I believe that the definition is rather personal. At least for me it is, since I am a non-believer. But I love Christmas. I love the lights that I can see at night. I love the look in a kid’s eye when I ask if he’s sure he’s on the nice list this year. I love spending time with my sister, my mom, my dad, and all 78 pets.
I love the way Christmas makes me feel. The Christmas version of Kathleen is happy. She laughs easily, she’s not so cynical, and she judges people less. She gives to people holding signs. She wears holiday attire, though she is still too young to pull off the Christmas sweater look.
And yet, the season gives me pause. On Thanksgiving I wrote that I was thankful that all of my problems were first world problems. I can’t help but think that I don’t give enough money away. It makes me feel guilty that the only giving I do goes to my local NPR affiliate. I’m one of those middle-class, NPR listening, fancy-coffee drinking, local-food eating liberals who are too selfish to see that their actions don’t reflect their values.
My actions don’t reflect my values. According to my actions, making caramels and paying my credit cards are more important than helping others. And that doesn’t sit well with me.
So I’m going to do something about it. I’m going to donate every month. Not just to Oregon Public Broadcasting, either. Today, I gave to World Vision. Sure, they’re an evangelical group, but they do good work. I don’t want to sponsor a child, but I do want to give. There’s a section on their site that’s called “area of most need” — that sounds noble. I only gave a little, but I intend to donate at least ten dollars a month to some sort of charitable organization.
And I’m going to give to the people holding signs in the cold. If you’re holding a sign and standing on the corner on my commute to work (I get to work around 7 or 7:30) I will give you money.
I don’t know what else to do, and I don’t know how else to give back. But it’s important to me. So if you have any ideas for this season and beyond, please let me know.
Related articles
- ‘Tis the Season for Forced Giving (margaretdilloway.com)
- Spreading Christmas Cheer (greenviewplace.wordpress.com)
- 6 Free Gifts You Can Give This Christmas (betterlifecoaching.wordpress.com)
- Declaring a Truce in the War on Christmas (usnews.com)
